kinda cute together, i bet teresa is having a fit with this picture

"Ok..ok, you got me."

"Somebody told me the other day that the Secret Service has orders that if George Bush is shot, they're to shoot Quayle. … There isn't any press here, is there?" (Associated Press, Nov. 16, 1988).

If Kerry is elected I think the Secret Service might just do the same, but they'd probably do it on their own.

When I take action, I'm not going to fire a $2 million missile at a $10 empty tent and hit a camel in the butt. It's going to be decisive.
- George W. Bush

"Your nose is so cute and...."

"Oh, stop it..you know I'll start blushing."

If you get a "yes" to any of them, walk away.  That person has failed the one sentence IQ test.

1. Do you think that O.J. Simpson was framed?

2. Do you think that professional wrestling is real?

3. Do you think that the first moon landing was fake?

4. Do you think that Osama bin Laden wants George W. Bush to be re-elected because he’s afraid of John Kerry?

5. Do you think that Al Gore invented the internet?

6. Would you let your pre-teenage boy spend the night with Michael Jackson?

7. Have you ever made a contribution to PETA?

8. Do you think that Richard Simmons is straight?

9. Do you think that women should adopt a special diet to avoid prostate cancer?

10. Have you ever made a contribution to Benny Hinn?

11. Do bisexuals have male and female sex organs?

12. Is “innuendo” an Italian term for suppository?

13. Are you more concerned about saving a convicted murderer than an unborn child?

14. Would you support an abortion of an unborn baby while protesting animal abortion?

15. Do you think that Bill Clinton uses Viagra?

16. Do you think that Chris Matthews has good communication skills and respects women?

17. Have you ever asked someone where the “any” key is located on your computer keyboard?

18. Have you ever nodded during a speech by Jesse Jackson?

19. If your roommate stole your bong would you call the police?

20. Have you ever told a waitress that your sushi was undercooke

21. Have you ever watched a beautiful sunset and thought “hmm, science has clearly established that we all evolved from primordial soup.”

"Smile, honey."

"Get your hands off me or I'm going to 'speak my mind' again to the press."

"The Associated Press reports that over 500 million people in China have never brushed their teeth. In a related story, China has just changed its name to England."

conan o' brien

"You can't make a chicken swim and you can't make John Kerry anything but an out-of-touch ultraliberal from Taxachusetts." -Sen. Zell Miller (Dem, GA)

"Now, there's another way you can tell you're a Republican. You have faith in free enterprise, faith in the resourcefulness of the American people and faith in the U.S. economy. And to those critics who are so pessimistic about our economy, I say: Don't be economic girlie-men."